What a Dirty, Dirty Panda

We do envy the lowly zookeep who mans the keyboard of the official Butterstick blog. Charged with updating the public on the daily doings of the world's cutest living creature, this staffer plumbs the depths the Stick's cub experience and translates it into poetry. Vaguely pornographic, panda-centered poetry. Take this entry, "December 30: Breaking the Habit":

When it was time to go to sleep, he returned to the same limb, rubbed his rear end against it for a good scratch, and then fell fast asleep. Tai draped himself over the branch just like his dad... We sometimes see Tian engage in a good rear-end rubbing before going to sleep. It is hard to believe branches can be so comfortable. However, we can all identify with the relief of a good scratch.

Uhm, ew? With previous entries delighting is panda money shots ("Having discovered the trickle of water that runs off of the rocks into the empty pool, Tai let the water trickle over his head and licked the droplets off his face."), it is difficult to read the titles of the posts without a certain sense that the FoNZ are test-driving titles for that "Bad Panda" movie:

January 24: A New Bed
January 23: Visiting the Grotto
January 17: Inch by Inch, Tai Keeps Growing
January 3: Tai's First Biscuit
December 19: Wild Child Panda

And, for the fetishists:

January 5: Smelled but not Seen